Every woman or a gay dreams of finding that perfect man — the hard part is turning those dreams into reality. There is no way to guarantee that you will find him, but there are steps that you can take to greatly improve your chances. Keep reading to find out what you can do to find the man of your dreams.


1. Adjusting Your Mindset
1. Understand yourself. Know your own real needs and distinguish them from other people's expectations. Be honest with yourself about your faults, you need to meet someone who will find your faults minor and forgivable but prize your strengths. Sometimes they are the same thing - a determined go-getter can be described as stubborn by someone who doesn't like her. Try turning every criticism anyone ever gave you inside out, find the compliment version and ask if it's true.

2. Don't expect perfection. If you find it, all the better. But, admit it; you're not perfect. No one is. If you're looking for a 100% perfect man, you will never find him. So be quick to forgive those little mistakes or annoying habits that don't matter, and hopefully he will overlook your imperfections too. Understand what types of annoying habits rile you so much they're a deal-breaker and be up front about those, as well as those you don't think of as a big deal. If you can't stand a forgetful man, you may have to bend on something else to find one who never forgets an anniversary or errand.

3. Be happy being alone. If you want to be ready to find the man of your dreams, then you have to be content with your own company before you begin your search. Forget the myth of finding the man who completes you or makes you whole; you should already feel like a fulfilled, well-rounded being, whose life will be improved by the presence of the right man, but not completed.

4. Love yourself. This is another important point. If you want to be able to find the man of your dreams, you have to love who you are. This doesn't mean that you have to completely love every part of yourself, but that you are confident in who you are and happy with what you have to offer. Being aware of your flaws is part of loving yourself, and it will make you a much more grounded person in a relationship.

2. Knowing What You Want

1. Define the qualities of your dream man. Though you may never know exactly who the man of your dreams may be until you see him from across the room and feel like you've had the wind knocked out of you, you should definitely have a strong sense of the kind of man you're looking for as you go about your search. The qualities you want shouldn't read like a check-list that has to be completed for you to find the right guy, but you should strongly consider which qualities are a must-have for you to pursue the "perfect" relationship. Here are some things to consider:

2. Define your deal breakers. The qualities you don't want can be just as important as the ones you need. If there are a few deal breakers that will mean you can't make a relationship work, no matter how hard you try, then it's better to know what they are up front than to try to stick it out before failing. These qualities have to do with your priorities and what you are not willing to put up with no matter what -- there's no shame in admitting what they are. Here are some qualities that may be your deal breakers no matter what:

3. Get ready to compromise -- about some things. Though you should stand your ground on the things that really matter to you, and be on the alert for any red flags that tell you that the relationship won't work, you should have an open mind when you start a new relationship, even if your "have" and "have not" list is firmly ingrained in your mind. When you meet the right man, you may find that you didn't even know exactly what you were looking for, so get ready for the ride.

4. Know where to look. Knowing what you're looking for is half the battle; the other half is knowing where to look. If you know what your dream man should be like but spend all of your time at home or in the wrong bars, then you'll never get to meet him. The most important thing is to be open to love no matter where you go, because ultimately, no one can predict where you'll find the man of your dreams. However, knowing where to look can greatly improve your chances of meeting him. Here are some great places to look:

3. Hooking the Man of Your Dreams

1. Be the person you want to marry. What kind of person are you attracted to? What kinds of traits does he have to have? To attract the kind of person you like, you have to have those traits too. Also look at traits that are complementary - if you're very domestic, you may be happier with a man who doesn't putter in your kitchen but never gripes about mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters.

2. Be an interesting person. Find a hobby or two that makes you stand out. Whether you like to play sports, paint, play a musical instrument, or go clubbing at night, surrounding yourself with people of your same interests will increase your chances of meeting the man of your dreams while having fun at the same time. Don't think you have any hobbies? Try something creative, you may have unexpected talents and discover it's fun. Go out and volunteer in your community.
3. Make a good first impression. Though the guy will get to know you as time goes on, you should start off on the right foot. Make an effort to look nice while staying in your comfort zone when you know you'll have a chance to meet men. Even if you're having a bad day or didn't really feel like going out, you should always be ready with a smile and a joke, because you never know when you'll find the man of your dreams.

4. Avoid being codependent. A codependent relationship brings out the worst in both partners and shatters lives. If you grew up in a codependent environment, seek counseling and learn to overcome codependent habits before getting serious about any romantic relationship. You're better off taking your time than enduring the emotional and possibly physical abuse of codependence. That's what it leads to - abuse.

5. Be real. Don't try to be someone you're not, or you may get typecast in a narrow role that doesn't include all that you are. If you're normally casual and dress to the nines whenever you meet him, he may reasonably expect you to dress like that all the time and be disappointed once you're together. If you pretend you don't like books and hook up with him, you may wind up spending the rest of your life having an argument every time you want to order from Amazon.

6. Don't come on too strong. This is a key point to staying with the man of your dreams. If you love him instantly, great, but don't blurt it out unless you're sure you've had the most magical chemistry from the start. If you can see him as your husband, the father of your kids, perfect, but don't mention it on your third -- or your tenth -- date. Let things run their course before you both feel serious enough about each other to talk about the future.

4. Making it Last

1. Don't lose him for lack of affection. Though coming on too strong can be a problem, so can the opposite problem -- not letting the man know how much he means to you. If you've been together for a while and you haven't told him how much he means to you or gone out of your way to complement him, then you may be closer to losing him than you think. Though men don't generally like to be smothered with love and affection, they do like to be told that they're doing something right.

2. Make sure you're compatible. This is crucial for the survival of any serious relationship. Your man may look great on paper, but you should also be compatible when you're together. This means laughing easily, having great conversations without hardly ever running out of things to talk about, seeing eye-to-eye on the small things, and being able to get through a day -- or a week, or a month! -- together without fighting every two seconds.

3. Be patient. Give it time, woman. Don't rush to the altar after six months of bliss. If you really want to make it last, then you have to have the patience to go through months, or years, of a good relationship, before trying to force marriage, children, or any serious choices onto your man. For the first year, at least, just enjoy your time together and work on developing a strong bond before trying to leap to the next step.

4. Share the same long-term goals. If both of you want to focus on your careers for the foreseeable future, then great. If you're both ready for the marriage and kids thing, awesome. And if you're okay with living right where you are for the rest of your lives, even better. Unfortunately, it's not often that you can be so in sync with your partner. If you are, then great. But if not, you should make sure that you share as many long-term goals as possible, so you can move forward together.

Of course, you should both be willing to compromise, but this will be much easier if your visions of the future aren't wildly different.

Obviously, the most important shared long-term goal should be developing your relationship. You should both be invested in the relationship 100% to be able to move forward.

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